Trick or Treat

Jump to Comments

November 2, 2007

By Gene Clark

Settle down, kiddies. Old Uncle Gene is going to tell you a scary story. I know Halloween was last week, but you were all busy getting your costumes together and buying candy. I thought I’d wait and tell you this story when you weren’t so distracted.

By the way, Victoria’s Secret doesn’t carry a thing in 52-A, and you can buy cheap, leftover candy now, freeze it, and drag it out the day before Halloween next year.

On to the scary story…

Two-hundred years ago, Congress passed a group of laws which are known as the Insurrection Act of 1807. Congress fashioned these laws to define our President’s ability to deploy troops within the United States to put down lawlessness, insurrection, and rebellion.

Congress was worried that an all-powerful Chief Executive was a bad idea, so the aim of the Insurrection Act was to limit Presidential power to use the military domestically.

Seventy-one years later, Congress enacted the Posse Comitatus Act. In 1876, President Grant got a little frisky and sent Federal troops to “supervise” the Presidential elections in some southern states. Rutherford B. Hayes was elected President.

Congress felt that the Federal troops had “supervised” the elections way too much, so they passed the Posse Comitatus Act in June of 1878. Posse Comitatus is Latin; it means the “Power of the county.” The Act makes it a crime to use the military as a domestic police force in the United States under most circumstances.

One-hundred-twenty-eight years later on September 30, 2006, the Congress modified the Insurrection Act of 1807. Did they again tighten control on the power of the President? Hello!!…Both Houses of Congress were still controlled by Republicans on September 30, 2006. It would be a week later that the Democrats would win both Houses of Congress.

On 9/30/2006, as part of the 2007 Defense Authorization Bill, Section 1076 of the new law changed Section 333 of the Insurrection Act of 1807. The change gave the President the power to deploy troops as a police force during a natural disaster, epidemic, serious public health emergency, terrorist attack, or other condition, when the President determines that the authorities of a state are incapable of maintaining public order. The change also effectively gutted the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878.

BOO!

Now, now, settle down, kids. There isn’t enough Army left for President Bush to use to take over America. Our Army leaders would be way too smart to rush into any takeover plot before Congress could enact laws to stop it.

No, President Bush would have to have a huge, well-armed, well-trained, well-equipped force loyal to him that he could quickly deputize and deploy to strategic areas of the country. He’d need to be able to get his hands on several thousand armed personnel. Our own Army would save us…eventually…unless President Bush could get his hands on an armed force large enough to deploy to Iraq to engage our own Army and prevent it from returning to save us…Blackwater!

BOO Again!!

Sorry kids. That could only happen if there was a bunch of heavily-armed Americans that believed that this country is becoming a Godless place where Mexican people, gay people, non-Christian people, crippled people, retarded people, homeless people, poor people, and anyone not white, straight, whole, well-to-do, and Christian get the same rights as anyone that is white, straight, whole, well-to-do, and Christian.

BOO, BOO, BOO!!

Such a scenario could never happen unless President Bush could count on complete loyalty from the oil companies and at least one major oil-producing country like Saudi Arabia. If Dubya could control the nation’s strategic oil reserve and the domestic distribution of gasoline…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Yes, I am paranoid. Our Congress hasn’t been able to slow Dubya down at all. It’s not that they can’t, really. It’s that they are scared to, and I’m not sure why Congress is scared of the village idiot in the White House.

I feel abandoned by my national legislature. I don’t know why Congress has abandoned our country. I have speculated that they have been bought off and are taking a dive. They could be cowards of unbelievable depth, but that’s probably not true or fair.

I’m starting to think that it must be wonderful to be a Congressman or a Senator. It must be so much better than being a regular citizen that you would do anything to remain in power.

It must be like Christmas with puppies and ice cream. It must be like going to Disney World using someone else’s credit card with a credit limit of infinity. It must be like making out with the head cheerleader in a brand-new Corvette.

I just have one question.

What does it gain you if you gather every treasure upon earth and lose your soul?

0 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized