By Bill Devol
Back On April 24 I wrote the following entry in my personal journal:
The toothpaste is out of the tube. That would be the torture toothpaste. Torture is consuming our national debate. Dubya and VP Dick really stuck their (anatomical euphemism deleted) in the torture tar baby.
This is one of the things that can consume an administration. The Bush administration may eat the Obama administration.
It will devolve into mass throat slitting on both sides of the aisle. At first, it will be on party lines. If it turns out that heads will really roll, both sides will begin to eat their young…OK…what is more likely is that the young of each of the parties will use this to usurp the leadership positions of the old.
There is blood in the water, and our politicians are sharks. This could get really, really fun…nothing will be done to help us…but we can cheer the carnage.
VP Dick is out on his King Lear Meets A Few Good Men tour, “You can’t handle the truth; How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless country!”
VP Dick is walking around beating his chest and telling anyone that will listen that he thought torture was just the best thing and how well it worked. He is suggesting anyone that doesn’t have the stomach to do what is necessary to defend this country is the worst kind of pussy…perhaps even the same kind of pussy that would take five draft deferments during the Vietnam war.
The CIA is saying, “Hey we told everybody that was important that we were kicking the crap out of our prisoners; they must have thought it was OK.”
Speaker of the House Pelosi came out yesterday and said the CIA was a bunch of liars with their pants on fire. House Minority Leader John Boehner (pronounced Boner) came back with, “Those CIA guys are the best people on earth and as honest as the day is long. They have never even stretched the truth.” That of course is a great way to say, “Nancy Pelosi is a lying bag of flaming dog sh*t.”
President Obama decided that releasing additional torture photos would just make more people angry with us. But, in the same week, he decided that maybe he’ll keep Guantanamo open for just a bit longer and perhaps military tribunals wouldn’t be so bad for some of the guys.
Senator Jeff Sessions from Alabama added another good reason to keep the detainees at Gitmo. Sessions, the ranking Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee, pointed out that the Gitmo prisoners “…wouldn’t be treated any better in the United States, and they wouldn’t have the tropical breezes blowing through.”
There is about to be a pretty nasty throw down on the Potomac. The entire Congress and one-third of the Senate are up for re-election in less than 18 months. Both parties are going to be flinging poo at each other fast and furious just to see what sticks.
Nothing will get done. The economy will still suck. There will be no health care reform. American soldiers will still be dying in Iraq and Afghanistan; I expect they will start dying in Pakistan, as well.
It’s almost as if the two parties don’t give a crap what we think except every two years or so when a bunch of politicians need our votes to send them back to the Throw Down on the Potomac. The throw down is the goal. You must be able to make a royal sh*tload of cash going to Washington and calling everybody else an assbag.
It’s not like the politicians even care about torture that damn much. They’ve caught on that it is perhaps the greatest wedge issue ever. It may be greater than since race, religion, and homosexuality all rolled together.
If this wasn’t the greatest country ever dreamed up by men in satin knickers and powered wigs, I might be tempted to go elsewhere.
I have to keep reminding myself that only in America can fat, mouthy oxycontin freaks be paid millions of dollars a year to make fun of Parkinson patients and 96-year-old mothers of Presidential candidates…oh, and don’t forget that Magic Negro thing.
Only in America do Republican Governors take bailout money like they were being paid under the table with cash by the guy that picked them up at Home Depot to do a roofing job.
Only in America can you find a political party that proves it picked its National Chairman because he was black by never listening to a freaking thing he says and never letting him make any important decisions…just like they do with regular black people.
I love this country, but sometimes the people suck out loud.
