By Bill Devol
Over on Fox News, Gretchen Carlson, Miss America 1989 and Co-Host of Fox and Friends, let the news story of the decade just dribble out from between her lips recently.
Gretchen’s Co-Host, Steve Douche, told Ms. Carlson that Iran’s Revolutionary Council admitted that the voter turnout in some Iranian cities was higher than 100 percent.
In response to Steve’s statement, Gretchen said, “That happened in the U. S. in November too, in some cities…ummm…so maybe that should be a wakeup call to us, as well.”
Gretchen, are you holding out on us? Do you have knowledge that the voter turnout in last November’s election was above 100 percent in some American cites…which is impossible…which means the results were faked…which means there was voter fraud in the November elections and you never said a word?
Gretchen, I’m disappointed in you. A story like that deserves more than a throw-away line. You should have a news special about it.
What cities? How much more than 100 percent? In who’s favor was the voter fraud? Who found out about it? How did they find out? Is there any evidence of this gross miscarriage of our electoral trust?
Damn it, woman, we need the facts.
What do you mean when you say “maybe that should be a wakeup call to us, as well?”
Without all those facts I was asking about, I don’t know quite what I’m getting the wake up call to do?
Should we run into the streets and begin protesting? Should I get a Twitter account and begin clandestine tweets from the heart of the protests and demonstrations? Should I upload cell phone video of police brutality?
Gretchen, quit peeing in my cornflakes. Really, Gretchen, were you suggesting that Barack Obama stole the November election and that we, the American people, should rise up and take to the streets demanding free and fair elections?
Gretchen, are you asking for a do-over? Should we even have another election? Perhaps we should just throw Barack Obama the Hell out of the White House and move in John McCain.
No, no, no, I got it, Gretchen. We should put Dubya and VP Dick back in and start all over again. We should do that because they did such a great job and their national approval rating was so low because of the liberal media and not because they screwed up every single thing they touched and got thousands of American service personnel killed.
Gretchen, if you believe half the crap you shovel over there on Fox News, a Belgian waffle could outwit you. You’d have to get smarter just to be a moron. You couldn’t find your ass with a flashlight and a map.
If you don’t believe half the crap you shovel and shovel it any way just for the money, then we know what you are; we just don’t know what you charge to spend the night.
Do you hear me Bill O’Rielly, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, William Kristol, William Bennet, and all the rest of the high-priced, right-wing media hookers out there…quit peeing in my corflakes.
Barack Obama kicked your ass because people finally saw through your crap.
If Barack Obama turns out to be a lousy President, the longest he can be around is eight years. Hell, even that dipstick Dubya couldn’t destroy the whole shooting match in eight years, so I’m sure we will survive four to eight years of Barack Obama.
Saints Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John on a unicycle…Barack Obama isn’t the second coming or the anti-Christ. He’s a politician.
AND…you Democratic pussies in the House and the Senate better not screw up health care again. You are peeing in my corn flakes, as well. What good is having a majority capable of cramming anything down the throat of the opposition if you pussy up and cut and run every time you get a chance to stand up for America and the people that voted you into power?
Are you all whores that bend over for the highest bidder?
President Obama, don’t ask me to back you 100 percent if you can’t deliver on don’t ask don’t tell, equal rights for gays, and transparent government. So far, my friend, you have kicked the props out from under gay America and have copped the Dubya attitude on what you want to share with us and what is tippy-top secret.
By the way, Mr. President, END THE MOTHERF**KING IRAQ WAR! By my accounting, you have done less than diddly squat to end the Iraq war. We are waiting…tick, tock…real people with families are dying…tick, tock…they are dying on your watch.
My corn flakes are really, really soggy.
